Welcome, contestants!

[stockingfeats]

Read over the following prompts. Once you have read over these prompts, choose characters to place on the meme and tag other characters in the meme.

Once two characters are together, they must attempt to complete one of these tasks, regardless of how ill-suited they may or may not be to this exercise.

Your time starts now.


Yes, that's right, it's the hit comedy show Taskmaster, and your character is on it! In a twist, all the tasks are done with a partner. Together in a little white room covered in plastic, or in the front yard with its inexplicable cow statue, or an artificially cozy office, your characters find a plain white paper sealed with red wax... open it... and receive their task.

The task location is littered with all sorts of typical household items to use as tools: kitchen gear, stuff in the garden shed, toolboxes from the garage, etc. The only limit is your imagination. Maybe one or two laws of physics, as well.

1. Shoe in the tub: Make a catapult and launch this shoe into the bathtub located 20 feet away. You must operate the catapult using only your feet.
   
2. Make a tasty pizza. There is a refrigerator full of random leftovers and an assortment of bread products on the counter. Use any of the leftovers to create a pizza. The pizza must be tasty.
   
3. Be as unhealthy as possible. Make a plan to be as unhealthy as you possibly can... within ten seconds. "Unhealthy" can mean many things, but you must give a convincing explanation for why your 10-second activity is unhealthy. Then execute your plan.
   
4. Create and ride the best amusement park ride. Using only household and garden shed items (and a hill) create an amusement park ride and then ride it.
   
5. Commit a crime. You must commit a crime. You may not break the law.
   
6. Travel the farthest in ten minutes, blindfolded. Then make your way back to the start. Breadcrumb trail optional.
   
7. Persuade these four animals to stand on the mat. The mat is five feet across. Your choice of dogs, cats, or miniature ponies (in any combination). Twelve feet must be on the mat at once.
   
8. Blindfolded wheelie bin race. One contestant gets into a wheelie bin. The other must push them through an obstacle course... blindfolded. The bin-rider must only give warnings through oblique hints.
   
9. Plate delivery. You and your partner must deliver all the plates to the target, 100 feet away. When carrying plates you must travel by scooter, bicycle, or hoverboard. For every broken plate, a time penalty will be added to your score.
   
10. Wildcard! listen, there is an infinite variety of truly inane tasks on Taskmaster, just make one up, it'll seem legit. Check the recap pages for the UK and NZ version for ideas!
    

Comments

Patty | Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War

[pirateforamum]

[Good luck keeping her from just robbing the Taskmaster House for all she can stuff in her pockets!]

[oh my gosh, Patty!]-5

[princeofgrado]

[He blinked, tilting his head and looking at their assigned task.]

Wait, how are we supposed to commit a crime without breaking the law? Aren't those synonymous concepts?

omg, lyon! :D

[pirateforamum]

[Patty crosses her arms, tilting her head back as she tries to work it out.]

That's what I've always thought. Ugh, this one ought to be a cinch for me! Crime, crime, crime....

Okay, what thing would you make a crime that isn't already one?

Rare Fire Emblem muses united!

[princeofgrado]

[He hums, staring down at their assignment. This makes absolutely no sense for him.]

Some people say pineapple on pizza is a crime but how can we be sure about that? Isn't it just a matter of preferences in that case? I can't tell since I never had pineapples before...

I don't know, anything that sounds even remotely serious does feel like breaking the law.

\o/

[pirateforamum]

I've never had pineapples or pizza. [She did get a look at the pineapple in the kitchen and immediately concluded that, for several reasons, she could not smuggle it out under her shirt, and therefore dismissed it.] I think you're onto something, though...

[She taps her finger on her chin. Something that isn't so serious that it breaks the law, but would, in certain lights, be called a crime...]

That fridge is full of food. And it'd a crime to steal all food. But if we made something with all the food, then it's not a crime, because we're just cooking. What do you think?

[LOGIC.]

Krile Mayer Baldesion | Final Fantasy V

[mooglesatdawn]

At least it sounds easier than flying a meteorite!

[consfound]

What, have you flown on one? [Not all too impressive for a giant robot, who can survive plenty of things, but he doubts this small human could pull off such a stunt.

Unfortunately for the two of them, they are to create a pizza from random leftovers. A princess and a Cybertronian.] So...it's just bread, right?

[mooglesatdawn]

Sure have! They're not easy to steer, either.

[She puts her hands on her hips, looking at the contents of the refrigerator. There's some General Tso's Chicken, whoever he was, and some clam chowder in a plastic tub, and various condiments and cheese sticks and some of those cut-up veggies on a plate...]

Tt's bread, and cheese and tomato. [Ghido has talked about pizza. Pizza is canonical FFV.] Sometimes other things on top. I don't see tomato... but we can replace it with something else. What do you think would be tasty?

[He's a machine person, but... hey, she doesn't know, maybe he can eat human food!]

[consfound]

Can't imagine how you can steer those in the first place.

[That's a question he can ask later. For now, he has taken out the vegetables and laid them out on the table for inspection.]

Um... [He's seen pictures of pizza. There's red stuff on it, and there's no red stuff in the fridge. So the red stuff must be tomato.] It's liquid, right? Why not use those?

[He pulls out a few bottles of condiments: soy sauce, ranch dressing, mustard.]

[mooglesatdawn]

[Krile giggles and gives the inevitable answer.]

Very carefully.

[She taps her chin with one finger as she watches Krok pull out different sauces and condiments from the fridge.]

Mustard is the opposite of ketchup--so it's probably the opposite of tomatoes in general. [She grins, getting an idea.] How about we make an opposite pizza? You know, everything that a pizza normally has on it, but backwards! That'll still taste good, but nobody else will have a pizza like it.

[consfound]

You know what, that makes just as much sense as regular pizza. What's the opposite of bread?

[Opposite of vegetables? Meat! Which they lots of. He takes the container of chicken and clam chowder.]

Instead of cheese, we use this...cream? [He thought soup was supposed to be watery. What the hell is this clam chowder?]

[mooglesatdawn]

The opposite of bread... [Krile looks around the kitchen, in the fridge and some cabinets for inspiration. What is the opposite of bread? It's not 'milk', that's just something that goes with bread.

Oh!]

Rice cakes! [She holds up a package of them triumphantly.] We can still put things on them, but it's technically a kind of cake, so it should count as 'opposite.'

[And now she can get a better look at the ingredients Krok picked out.]

Oh, it's... [sniff sniff.] Clam soup? It does look like it should hold up on here...

[consfound]

It'll soak through those cakes. Look at how many holes it has. [That thing must be 50% air.] Or - what we can do is lay on the mustard, carefully sprinkle the soup, and add all this chicken and clam bits on top.

[He picks up the container of mustard and starts squeezing it over a rice cake in a spiral.]

Flavor. There's black and green sprinkles on most pizzas. [Pepper and herbs.]. So we add white flakes.

[There's the packet of cheese sticks.] Let's make a dozen of these!

[mooglesatdawn]

Great! [Krile claps her hands together with a big grin.] We have everything we need now.

[She sets to work on a rice cake of her own, spooning the clam chowder on carefully once she has her protective layer of mustard down. The smell of the different things in combination is... very interesting, and not something she's ever smelled before.]

So... do you eat things like this? Or do you not need to eat?

[She's not sure how it works for mechanical people.]

[consfound]

No...well, yes, sometimes. We usually take our fuel in liquid fuel. Then we eat metal as a supplement.

[He looks down at this tower of hard, liquid, and soft ingredients.]

I wonder how I can replicate this back home. Might do a grocery run and find out.

[mooglesatdawn]

Sounds like your pizza would have a really crispy crust. [She giggles.] But I guess you can be sure of getting all your minerals.

[She too examines their 'opposite pizzas' critically.]

Hm... I guess you could use oil as a sauce. And instead of using a pizza steel to cook the crust, it just is the crust?

[consfound]

Thick oil. Ferrous oil, if we can get it to set properly. [There's a science to Cybertronian food preparation, and matching robot pizza to human pizza 1:1 is going to be tricky.] Steel might be too tough for the crust, but I'll ask my men.

Well. I think we did well! [The rice cakes shimmer with a pale glow under the show lights.] Ready to present it?

Roxas | Kingdom Hearts

[shardsofmemory]

[ Is he going to be good at these? No. Is he going to try his best? Probably! ]

5

[memorizethefire]

Commit a crime... without breaking the law. Your time starts [ Axel looks up at Roxas, his expression flat, very unimpressed by this whole schtick. He's trying to be cool, okay? This isn't fun at all.

Big sigh. He puts down the paper ] Now.

1 / 3

[shardsofmemory]

Commit a crime without... but that's....

[ .....

........

processing...............

he picks up the task. Looks at it. Looks up at Axel. ]

2 / 3

[shardsofmemory]

[ ...............

........







! ]

[shardsofmemory]

[ his head WHIPS UP ]

Fashion crime!

[memorizethefire]

[ No, no, no that's so cute. Axel stares at him for a moment, then bursts into a laugh, running a hand over his face. ]

A fashion crime--yeah. Yeah. That's good. Fuck, that's really good, Roxas. But it has to be so heinous that the Taskmaster can't dispute it.

[shardsofmemory]

So it has to be on you.

[ Obviously. This is not actually a question, this is a declaration, and yes he is incredibly pleased that Axel thinks this is a good idea. After a moment, he takes a big step back, sizing Axel up. ]

We're gonna need a lot of orange.

[memorizethefire]

Why me?! You're the small one. It's easy to find clothes that fit you.

[ He takes a step back, holding out his hands, even though he's pretty sure this is an inevitability now ]

...fine but don't make me look like a traffic cone.

[shardsofmemory]

[ Accept your fate or have less clashing hair, bud. Roxas is already beaming at him, heading toward the house proper. ]

Isn't that a fashion crime, though? C'mon, we have to go through the closets. Do you think it actually has to be clothes? We could do some really good stuff with glitter.

[memorizethefire]

No glitter! The last time we used glitter, it was in my hair for two months.

[ And yet, he follows, arms crossed over his chest. He's not having fun! Not at all! ]

...nah probably doesn't need to be clothes. I bet we could do something fun with duct tape and paper.

[shardsofmemory]

The point isn't fun. The point is crime. We need to dress you for an arrest, Axel, or we're gonna lose—do we have a time limit?

[ OH GOD he just kind of assumes they do and essentially bolts for the front door, good luck catching up with him, you'll find him in the closet tearing through craft supplies ]

[memorizethefire]

Twenty minutes.

[ Axel says, halfheartedly (hah) running after him. He's just going to leave this to Roxas. He'll be a good mannequin, and probably get in Roxas' way if he tries to help too much. And it's cute, watching Roxas get excited about this. He's so competitive, and he looks at Axel with a glint in his eye that spells trouble.

He leans on the wall opposite the closet. ]

That, really? [ It looks like he found a bright pink tutu ]

[shardsofmemory]

Put it on!

[ They are on a TIME LIMIT HERE BUDDY, chop chop, Roxas is already tossing the floofy thing at him and diving back into the closet. ]

Are we sure about the no glitter thing because there are these boots—

[ A flash of... orange glitter? Beware. ]

Lup | TAZ: Balance | OTA

[litchy_lulu]

[How could I not put her on here? Just don't needlessly torment her brother and you'll be fine.]

Daenerys Targaryen | GoT/ASOIAF

[nuhysissa]

[ ota whether it's a good idea or not! ]

Krok | Transformers IDW

[consfound]

[Maybe the task will be easier with the help of a giant robot?]