bridgescribble | Starting off on the wrong foot

What's worse, a socially awkward situation or a bear attack? We're putting our money on the former.

Hey, that's my order! The food & drink place called out your name, but someone else has grabbed it! Of course you know this means war.
Pardon our dust. When you're dumping your dustbin, or ashtray, or shaking your rug out the window, you should check that nobody's underneath you first.
Where did you learn to eat like that? Someone else's table manners have exceeded your limit and you have to say something.
That's MY armrest! Someone has just stuck their big caffeinated orange juice into your cupholder, or you're already locked deep in elbow-a-elbow battle.
Going up... no, not you. When you're running for the elevator and the person inside accidentally(?) hits "close" instead of "open" -- but not soon enough. Enjoy the ride.
You never take the last one: There is one left of this tasty treat and your hands have met--as you both try to grab for it. OF COURSE YOU KNOW THIS MEANS WAR!
How long can you spend picking cereal? You're in a store and the other person in the aisle just isn't moving aside to let you get one thing.
Sleep uncute: Cute in fanart, not so cute when you commandeer the shoulder of a total stranger. Hope you weren't drooling!
Hi B...ro...billiam? You just enthusiastically said hi to someone who isn't who you thought it was. Cruelly, death is refusing to accept you into its sweet embrace.
Wildcard! If it's a social situation it can go wrong. Use your imagination!

[ Alberto gives a cocky sniff at that, like it's a true compliment, placing his hand on his hip and standing contrapposto comfortably, nose stuck up in the air. ]

Yeah, I do~ It's a human thing. I'm an expert — y'know, on human stuff.

[ He glances over again and gives Wally a not-so-discreet once-over, appraisingly, as if silently remarking that Wally seems, hmm, maybe not so human? Good observation, Alberto. He's not one to judge, just, y'know, pointing it out... ]

[ remarkable! truly. wondrous, impressive. a human expert! Wally does so want to learn all the things. especially about the humans. ]

An expert! [ he is so very impressed. whatever apple-related quest he was on a moment ago is no longer so important. it will be, later. but not right now. because there is a human expert here. whatever that means. ]

That's wonderful! I am very proud of you.

[ Why— Why does that strike Alberto to the quick? His cocky act cracks a bit, giving Wally an earnestly touched look, taken aback by just casually being told that by a stranger... yet also taking it very much to heart? Because he hasn't heard someone else tell him that in a really... really long time — and all kids need to hear it sometimes. Even from an especially strange stranger, evidently. Alberto may have grown up a good decade or two before Welcome Home aired, but Wally is putting his best foot forward as a children's show host right now... Inexplicably connecting with the Youths with canned but still strangely genuine praise...? Wally's got the shtick down pat — if it can even be called a shtick at all. And Alberto's none the wiser. What a nice... guy... this guy is. Whatever kind of guy he is. A little guy. A nice little guy. ]

[ But after that emotive moment of faltering, he lets out a shy little puff of a laugh, almost a sigh, and cracks a warm, lopsided smile. ...Then goes on bragging, as they stroll along – the apple's not really on the forefront of his mind, either. He shoved the half-eaten one in his pocket anyway — y'know, where half-eaten food goes. ]

...Heh. Yeahhh, I'm great at human-ing. I mean, my dad taught me a lot, but mostly I've taught myself. I know a ton about humans~ Go ahead, you can ask me anything!

[ Eager to show off now. Wally started this... Indulged this kid just a little and this is what happens. It's not guaranteed that any information Alberto has to offer is accurate (AKA "true"), but, uh... he's keen to offer it anyway. Good intentions. ]

[ hmm. did he confuse Neighbour Alberto S-- ... Neighbour Alberto with his praise? Wally just wants to be nice. the Golden Rule, they called it. treat others how you want to be treated. maybe he needs to say more nice things so that Neighbour Alberto gets used to it. yes, that's it. ]

You are your own teacher, too! That must be very difficult. [ he swears that's not an insult he's just not very bright himself. ]

Hmmm ... [ thinky-thinky think-think. ] ... what do humans look like?

[ Alberto's bright, but that spark, uh, flickers. He's so ready to receive praise, it wouldn't have even occurred to him to take it as backhanded – what a great compliment, wow. Give him a compliment and he'll roll over like a puppy. A weird fishy puppy. ]

Yeah, it is, but I'm a good learner and a good teacher~

[ Convenient. Wally's question does catch Alberto off-guard a bit, but it's a fair one, and receives an answer just as earnest. ]

Uhh, well— Like this! [ He gestures up and down at himself. ] Well— Some of them. There're lots of different-looking kinds of humans. But basically like this. No tail, no scales, lots of skin, more hair— [ He glances at Wally's hand, then points to it with his own. ] More fingers... [ He holds his own hand up to demonstrate, wiggling his five (5) fingers at him. Important info. ]

Starting off on the wrong foot

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