bridgescribble | It's that one where you have to give a speech to a crowd of bears and wasps again

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It's that one where you have to give a speech to a crowd of bears and wasps again

You're having a nightmare, and you aren't alone. Someone is here with you in tonight's strange, dark dreamscape--for better or for worse.

Chased: Bears, tentacly monsters, giant vengeful wasps. You need to escape from it but you can't find a way.
Trapped: Elevator, sinking ship, cave. You're in and you can't get out.
Performance: It's often quoted that people fear public speaking more than they fear death. You don't know the script, you've never seen this Powerpoint, the teleprompter is blurry as hell... forget falling, you're about to die on stage.
Hated: You know those dreams where everyone you know accuses you of something terrible and they all hate you now? Yeah. It's that one tonight.
Disaster! You're on an island and a volcano erupts! You're next to a river and it floods! Never mind how geologically, climatologically, or physically likely it would be in this location in real life, it's happening now.
Haunting past: Your bad memories are just waiting for you to let your guard down, and what's more unguarded than sleep?
Wildcard: There are infinite nightmares in infinite combinations... why not put together your own?

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[ Vash takes no offense when his other self opts to take a seat on the bed as far away as he possibly can from him. After everything they just went through, he understands the need for space. Especially from "himself". It should probably be unsettling to sit with some distorted mirror of yourself, but here Vash can't help but feel at ease in the safety of his own room. So far the other Vash has done nothing to indicate he might mean to harm him either. Hence why he doesn't share the wariness despite how weird the entire situation is. He sticks to his corner of the bed respectfully, merely listening to his double explain. Perhaps avoiding speaking Nai's name is rather silly, but Vash appreciates it all the same when he desperately wants to them to stay in a space that's safe for them.

The other Vash's explanation goes on to raise as many questions as it answers. (His brother has a ship?) At least he knows who Legato is now and that goes a long way to help him understand the hostility from before and the continued caution now, putting into perspective things said and the cautious distance kept. ]

Sounds like a troublesome person.

[ To say the least. He shudders to think what actually facing someone with such a power would be like. There's... a lot he would like to ask and he has to take a moment to consider where to start and how to go about treading lightly for fear of the dream changing again. To buy himself some time, he throws out a casual: ]

You can take it if you want.

[ Because the lingering look at the photograph didn't go unnoticed and so Vash motions to it. It's a dream and so it might not mean anything and disappear again, but it's the thought that probably counts, right? He hesitates briefly before he presses on, posing his first question. ]

Why is he keeping you there?

[ You can take it, the other him says, and the generosity of the offer makes Vash's heart ache. Silently, smiling his gratitude, he shakes his head no. Even if it's a dream, he can't take something so precious. He's got his Rem in his heart, and that's been enough for a hundred and fifty years. It'll be enough for as long as it needs to be.

The next statement, however, is harder to address. ]

He's... different than the one you know, I think.

[ Sure, he watched this Vash's Knives trigger the Great Fall, an unforgiveable act, but... Tessla's death was unforgiveable too, wasn't it? And Knives was always so sensitive. Vash doesn't want to excuse his actions as the rash impulse of a child, but really, in so many ways, isn't that exactly what it was? And besides, this Vash is adamant that Knives took his arm to save him. Their relationship is so different than the one he has with his brother, different enough that Vash has no idea how his words will land. ]

He wants this world to be just for us. For us and our sisters. [ And really, Vash thinks wryly, it'd be a planet just for Knives, with Vash and the rest of the plants held hostage to his whims. ] I tracked him down, and confronted him about it, and he...

[ Well. There's no easy way to say it, is there? ]

He's holding me until he decides to kill me.

[ Vash has no qualms giving away the picture when he has that same exact photo tucked safely away in his inner coat pocket, always resting over his heart. It feels like the least he can do to provide some sort of comfort after dragging his other self through his worst memories, but the other Vash shakes his head and he decides not to press it for now. He gets too preoccupied hanging onto his double's careful words regarding his brother, the statement that they're different in some way more than enough to pique his curiosity.

He doesn't sound so different at first when it appears they have the selfsame goal — a paradise meant only for them and the plants where humankind has no place — but the more the other Vash goes on, the more uneasy he feels. Tracking him down and confronting Nai is exactly what he's doing at the moment and he has to wonder if he'll end up in the same position.

Except his other self goes on to say something that he can't comprehend his own twin doing and it bleeds out into his expression, making him look as stricken as he feels. ]

Mine wants the same, but... I don't think he would ever kill me.

[ He almost asks his double if he's sure that's truly what his brother intends to do. The only reason he holds his tongue is because of what he was about to witness mere moments ago. From the bits of context given, their twin didn't cut off the other Vash's arm to save him, but to— what? Punish him? Vash doesn't dare ask when the thought alone is enough to make him feel ill.

He doesn't think his Nai could kill him any more than he can kill Nai. They're both desperate to sway the other to their side, to make each other see what they consider to be reason, and so they keep going in circles with no end in sight. He knows Nai will never listen to him and yet there's nothing Vash can do but try to talk to him. Despite everything, he loves his brother and Nai loves him. To think Nai — any version of him — would give up on him and decide to get rid of him instead... it stings more than a little. All he can think to say is: ]

I'm sorry.

Mmm.

[ It stings a lot, Vash would agree with that. For all that's happened, after everything their brother has done, he still loves Knives dearly. He can't imagine there's anything that would make him stop loving him, and he thinks Knives feels the same way, but he's seen enough of humanity to know that sometimes it's the ones you love who hurt you the most. ]

He only has three options, you know? [ He leans back a little, taking in all the details of the room as he speaks, concentrating on remaining in the here and now. The last thing he wants is for this conversation to drag them both onto the ark. His double's seen enough of his tragedies already -- he doesn't need to see Vash's cage. ] He'll never change my mind, and he knows this. So he'll keep me restrained as long as he can, but... [ Unconsciously, Vash rubs at a scar at the base of his right wrist -- a souvenir of that shackle. ] ...I always get free eventually. [ And that only leaves one option. ] And I won't stop trying to stop him.

[ This room didn't come of out his imagination. It can't have -- look at the detail! Look at the differences! More than that, look at the similarities! That guy in that picture is Brad, he's sure of it, but here he is on the ship years before his Brad was even born! What's the point of this dream, if not...?

The idea hits him like a shot in the back and Vash stiffens, the realization overwhelming. He's turning to the other Vash and speaking before he's even really thought things through, but as he speaks, something about his words sounds right. It sounds true. ]

I keep thinking this is my dream... but what if it's yours? [ Dreamers sometimes know they're dreaming, but do dreams know they're dreams? ] What if I'm here to warn you about him? About what he's capable of?

[ What if I'm not real? ]

[ It makes perfect sense what his double goes on to explain and Vash knows, deep down, for it to be true. Both he and Nai are far too stubborn to ever back down from their beliefs and they'll remain in a stalemate until something finally gives. Between the two of them, Nai is the far more decisive one and it'll likely be him who will cut his losses and change tacks. Logically, he understands that this is the road they're on and it might not be such a terrible stretch of the imagination that he'll end up just like his doppelganger, and yet... In his heart, he just can't see it, can't believe Nai would decide to eventually just kill him.

He's pulled from his internal struggle by his other self shifting like something important just occurred to him and Vash is instinctively straightening and turning more towards him in turn, blinking in surprise at the sudden question. What the other Vash says feels like it could be right. Wouldn't it make sense for his subconscious to conjure up something to caution him by manifesting all his fears into awful possible futures-to-be the closer he gets to July?

Still, this feels like going too far. ]

I— He wouldn't...

[ He starts feebly. Vash can't (doesn't want to) consider such a thing happening. He drops his gaze down to his hands where they're resting in his lap and steadily curling into fists, his shoulders hunching as though he's trying to retreat into his coat. Even back when Nai had saved his life by cutting off his arm and Vash had pointed the gun Nai gave him at his twin's head, Nai hadn't been angry with him. He'd just looked so hurt. It's an expression that haunts him.

With Vash now fully facing his other self on the other end of his bed, he has his back to the open doorway leading into the hall, meaning he's oblivious to the dull red light that's starting to seep into the hallway the more he lingers on the memory. His double might be here for the very reasons he's pondering aloud, but Vash sees little point to it because... ]

Would it even change anything?

[ The other Vash can warn him, but it'll do nothing to alter his course. He still has to go to July to retrieve the plants and he'll never be the one to decide to kill Nai. They both know that. ]

[ If he recognized that red light as a looming change in the dream's shape, Vash would naturally warn his double. But this ship is odd, and he has no frame of reference for what might be usual or unusual.

Instead, his gaze turns to the floor, as he wearily rubs at the back of his neck. ]

I don't know. I don't know what could change, I don't know what I could have done differently. [ Given how powerful Knives had become, any fight he might have planned was over before he even walked in. ] Part of it's revenge, but part of it is that, deep down, he's... he's terrified, really, that if the humans are left unchecked they'll do to us what they did to her.

[ He will not say her name. Not here. ]

I don't know how to stop him. I don't know what to say to make him hear.

[ Of course his other self doesn't have the answer when he himself doesn't. They're caught in an impossible situation that has no easy solution or even much of a solution at all with how things stand. In the face of his brother's powers and conviction, he knows he has little chance. It makes him feel as small and helpless as when he'd first reunited and faced Nai after the Big Fall; those feelings reflecting in how the dream reverts him back to that age, leaving him as his teenaged self in his ratty tank top suddenly taking up much less space on the bed. He makes himself even smaller by pulling up his legs to where he can hug them to his chest in the circle of his (whole) arms, still oblivious to the rotten red light intensifying in the hallway and how the floor there is slowly distorting to resemble a walkway.

It hadn't quite occurred to him before that Nai — the one with the powers — would be so terrified but hearing the other Vash say it makes it click in his head. Seeing what they'd done to her had broken something in his twin and Vash never realized until it was much, much too late. ]

I wish he would just listen.

[ Because he never really does. More than anything he wishes that he could make Nai see what he sees in humanity, that his brother doesn't have to be so afraid, that there is as much good as there is bad and that's the whole point, isn't it? The potential of them and the choices they make in their short lives. Every human deserves a chance and the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and do better. Like Rem. Vash knows they're capable of it, why can't Nai see it? Why won't he trust Vash? ]

[ Knives had always been the more sensitive of the two of them. He'd felt things more deeply, cried more readily, quick to laugh and quick to protest at any perceived wrong. As a child, Vash had simply been frightened for Knives when he'd fallen unconscious after finding her -- as an adult, Vash has often wondered if there had been a real change there, in Knives. In both of them. He'd tried to die, but Rem had saved him. Knives was trying to kill... and Rem wasn't here to help him. It was all on his shoulders now. ]

I don't...

[ He's on his feet before he's finished talking, gun drawn and moving between the other Vash -- the younger, so much more fragile looking Vash -- and whatever nightmare is seeping into the room. ]

Something's coming.

[ He holds out his prosthetic hand to his double, if he'll take it, eyes on the door. ]

I've got you.

[ Who knows how long it'll last, but for now, at least, they're not alone anymore. ]

[ Vash startles at the abrupt flurry of motion, finally glancing over his shoulder and noticing what's happening when the other Vash positions himself between him and the open doorway. His heart sinks at the sight of the telltale red glow and shifting floor of what he knows to be a nightmare trying to encroach on their little sanctuary. He got too caught up in his feelings. He hesitates taking his double's hand because... ]

Sorry, this is my fault.

[ He doesn't think he deserves that kind of protection and comfort, but ultimately, that doesn't stop him. As his childish self he craves it and — being powerless and without a weapon — the logical thing to do is get behind his older self and so he slides off the bed and accepts the offered hand. The cool steel against his skin and the reassuring words are a balm to the growing fear inside of him that comes with this particular nightmare. He's not alone and it's... so new and strange, but it means everything. Even if he can't entirely stop it now, it helps to keep the nightmare just outside of the room; the doorway a clear border between safety and the nightmarish memory that solidifies just beyond it.

There are screams coming from somewhere around the corner followed by the sounds of bodies hitting the floor where he knows Nai is cutting them down ruthlessly. It stops suddenly when no one remains to be slaughtered, there's just a brief moment of silence, and then the sound of slow footsteps approaching. It causes Vash's heart to beat faster against the confines of his rib cage like a trapped hummingbird, frantic and desperate to get out. His grip on the prosthetic hand tightens and his other hand finds its way to the other Vash's sleeve, fingers curling tight into the fabric. Vash's gaze is transfixed on the doorway, his voice a soft, scared whisper when he elaborates. ]

It's Nai.

[ Of course it's Knives. Or Kni, as his double keeps calling him. The one constant in their lives all these years, the brother they can't let go of, the monster they can't defeat. Is this the path they're doomed to walk forever? An endless cycle of tearing each other apart?

That can't be right. His heart cries out that that can't be right. The red light and the nightmare it contains isn't advancing any further into the room, and a quick glance around confirms that nothing in the room has changed. It's still their room. It's still the ship. It's still home.

There's still hope. ]

This already happened.

[ He gives his double's hand a comforting squeeze. The approaching footsteps are loud as gunfire, but in this room is no sound but the gentle hum of electronics, the soft hiss of the ventilation, and their own breathing. This is a safe place, Vash thinks holding on to that idea. How safe he'd felt, when he'd been brought here all those years ago. How kind everyone had been. How much he'd wanted to stay. ]

You can change this. [ He can't be here to only relive the fear and pain of a hundred empty years. He can't. ] You changed it for me, you can change it for yourself. How do you want this to go? [ There has to be something they can say to Knives to make him understand, to get through his fear and anger and somehow find their brother again beneath the monstrous shell he's built around himself. He's ready with his gun, but bullets won't change Knives's mind. Only love can change minds. ] Talk to him. What would you say now to Kni back then?

[ The calm words and squeeze to his hand are grounding and possibly the only thing that keeps his rising panic at bay the closer the footsteps get. The other Vash is being so encouraging, but his mind frantically races when he has no idea how to change any of this when they've already established Nai won't listen to them. His fear still spikes when his brother comes into view and Vash fervently hopes he'll keep walking straight ahead; hopeful that the nightmare will continue playing out somewhere out of sight without them getting drawn in. Unfortunately, he's not that lucky. Nai, blood-drenched and holding a gun, stops and turns to face the doorway, directly locking eyes with him. Vash's breathing hitches in his chest and it takes everything in his willpower not to shrink back.

His brother remains in the doorway, expectant, and although it's highly unsettling, the fact he doesn't cross over the drawn line between nightmare and their safe place gives him the chance to get a grip and compose himself. Talk to him, his older self had said. Vash doesn't know what to say. Nothing he ever said before helped to change Nai's mind or even got him to listen... so what if he doesn't try to convince him at all? If he just tells him something he feels Nai should know that has nothing to do with their clashing beliefs?

Finding his resolve, he takes a deep breath and lets go of his other self, moving towards the doorway to stand in front of his brother. He speaks before his twin has an opportunity to shove the gun into his hands, the words just coming to him as he speaks them. ]

I'm sorry I ran and left you on your own. I was scared, but... I know you must have been, too.

[ He sees the way Nai's face scrunches together in that telltale sign he's about to argue. Vash doesn't let him, surging forward to throw his arms around his twin and hold him tight. His heart hurts in his chest — from beating so fast or because of the desperate emotions threatening to choke him, he's not sure — but he presses on, determined. ]

It's okay. I'm here. No matter what, I love you.

[ He can't see his twin's expression, but the way he stiffens in his arms makes his surprise known to Vash. Maybe if he'd just said these things back then, Nai would have been a little bit more inclined to listen to him. He closes his eyes and squeezes, ignoring the cold steel of the gun pressed against his abdomen and the scent of blood in his nose. He wants so badly to just have his brother back, to find a semblance of home together. He feels a hand coming to rest on his back, curling into the fabric of his makeshift cape, and with Nai's motion the entirety of the dreamscape shifts without Vash immediately knowing. The room stays largely the same, the pictures on the wall vanish and the framed photo on the table is replaced by a single red geranium, while the hallway becomes just the hallway of a spaceship again.

There's a gentle tug on his shirt, urging Vash to back off. When he obliges, he and Nai are mirror images again — younger with the same haircuts, same clothes — and his twin is tilting his head at him with a puzzled frown.

"What's gotten into you? Stop being weird and hurry up, you're going to miss your own birthday party."

A surge of joy sweeps through him when Vash realizes what his brother's words mean, what memory they've shifted to. He can't remember the last time he dreamed of a good memory.

"It's yours too!" He calls after his twin as Nai is already continuing to move down the hallway, his words met with a loud noise of exasperation. Swept up in the delight experienced in the memory, he almost goes running after Nai right then and there, but he catches himself, remembering that he's not alone. He turns to the other Vash with a beaming smile. ]

Thank you.

[ In a blink, he's his current self again, his smile tempered into something warm and grateful as he extends his hand in invitation. ]

Would you like to see Rem's favorite memory?

[ He doesn't know what his double could say to Knives to change anything, as he doesn't what he'd say if he were in the other's shoes, but there has to be a way to change this. They're being carried along through a history that they'd had very little control over the first time, and the replays are just driving that realization home. If they just stand by and allow bad things to happen, those bad things will continue to happen. Maybe they can't stop anything – maybe they can't change the past, even here – but if they don't try, nothing will change.

Vashs' grip on his gun tightens involuntarily when his double approaches Kni, but almost immediately he shoves it back into its holster. This is Kni – this is Knives. This is their brother, and he's not going to shoot their brother. If anything happens, if this goes wrong he'll put himself between them, use his words, beg and plead and do everything he can to change it... but shooting him? No. Never again. Never again.

Vash holds his breath as his double flings his arms around Kni, murmuring apologies and promises, waiting for the moment when things go wrong... and letting his breath out slow when, to his amazement, Kni looks dumbstruck instead of angry. Dumbstruck... and then so very lost.

It's going to work. This has to be it, he thinks, watching with not a little jealousy. What wouldn't he give to be able to go back and say the same thing to his version of their brother, to throw his arms around him and hold him close and remind him that he's loved? Remind him that he's not alone? Slowly, cautiously, Kni returns the embrace, and to his delight Vash feels the room subtly shift. The photo on the table fades... and Vash feels the tears threatening to return when the photo is replaced with a brilliantly red geranium in a bright little glass globe.

Oh Rem. I have so many things I want to tell you.

When he looks back Kni is gone, running down the corridor and calling out something about a birthday. Their birthday? His double starts to take off after Kni, and Vash wraps his arms around himself, not daring to move or speak in case the dream shifts again. Their birthday! One of the happiest days of their life on the ship! Kni had come down that hallway ready for bloodshed, and now? Now there'll be cake, and singing. They really did it. Things could change.

His double, grown again, holds out a hand with such a kind invitation that Vash can't speak to respond. He nods instead, taking that offered hand, and follows his double out into the hallway. A good memory, at last!

But as soon as he crosses the threshold the dream falls away, and Vash opens his eyes to stars, and darkness, and the too-close grate of his cage. Is it real? Is it another dream? In the corner of his eye he can see Legato in his sarcophagus, watching him blankly through half-lidded eyes. Real, then. Probably real, anyway. Probably real.

If you don't try, nothing will change.

Closing his eyes tight, Vash sifts back through his memories to one afternoon, a hundred and fifty years in the past. The bio-dome, the trees green, the grass soft underfoot. Rem, in that funny mask with the glasses and the mustache, and the popper that sent confetti flying everywhere. The cake, with a single candle. Knives, smiling, at Rem. At him. Knives, laughing. Singing. Scowling at his orange juice.

Knives, happy.

Happy birthday to you~ ]

[ His smile widens, eyes crinkling at the corners, when the other Vash accepts his offered hand. He's more than happy — eager, even — to share this good memory with his double. After all, this wouldn't have been possible without his encouragement and presence, Vash is sure. His other self's hand is warm in his own as he guides him along with a sense of giddy excitement— until it's suddenly not. They pass the threshold and Vash finds his hand abruptly empty, his doppelganger gone. It stops him in his tracks to glance around in confusion. ]

Vash?

[ It feels a little strange to be calling out his own name, but he doesn't know what else to call out. He tries in vain to see where his double's gone, peering back into the room and down the hall, yet, much to his dismay, he sees no trace of the other Vash. Still, he continues down the hallway to try and locate him right up until the siren sound of Rem's voice draws him in instead. There's simply no resisting that. Following it, he comes across the scene of Rem's favorite memory; sees her standing by the table with the recorder in hand, his younger self bouncing impatiently in his seat while Nai dubiously eyes the spread of food laid out on the table, the both of them donning their silly party hats. The sight brings him such a rush of affection and longing, he's helpless to do anything but stand in the doorway and watch the memory play out with aching fondness.

It's only the sound of something in the hallway that eventually drags his attention away and he's about to call out for his other self again when he suddenly startles awake, finding himself bolting upright in a familiar bed. For a disorientating moment he believes he's still dreaming because he's back Home not unlike in the dream. Except there are no pictures on the wall, there are additional items on his table that weren't there before, and glancing down he sees the spidery cracks running all along his prosthetic arm that bring a flood of memories: boarding the Sandsteamer, stopping the ion cannon with Wolfwood, communicating with the Plant on board and then... he passed out?

The people from Home must have saved him. It'll be so good to see them before he continues his journey.

He has no idea what will be waiting for him when he finally reaches his brother in July, but he'll carry the hope his dream of a happier time and the encouragement his other self gave him (figment of his own imagination or not) with him. Things will change. He just has to believe. ]

If you even want to do another one -- something with Ericks, maybe, post-ep 12? -- just let me know! I'd love to tag with you again ♥ ♥ ♥

For sure, I'd be delighted to do another one!! Definitely down to do something with Ericks because... hoo boy, there sure is a lot to unpack there lol. But I'd be happy to play just about anything with your amazing Vash 🫶

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It's that one where you have to give a speech to a crowd of bears and wasps again

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sorry, have a novel jkahjs

giant tags best tags! i love this so much

weh thank you, this thread was such a treat ♡

it was so good, thank you so much!

no thank YOU ;3;