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bridgescribble2023-03-11 09:37 am
stockingfeats) wrote in bridgescribble2023-03-11 09:37 am
Entry tags:
It's that one where you have to give a speech to a crowd of bears and wasps again
You're having a nightmare, and you aren't alone. Someone is here with you in tonight's strange, dark dreamscape--for better or for worse.
- Chased: Bears, tentacly monsters, giant vengeful wasps. You need to escape from it but you can't find a way.
- Trapped: Elevator, sinking ship, cave. You're in and you can't get out.
- Performance: It's often quoted that people fear public speaking more than they fear death. You don't know the script, you've never seen this Powerpoint, the teleprompter is blurry as hell... forget falling, you're about to die on stage.
- Hated: You know those dreams where everyone you know accuses you of something terrible and they all hate you now? Yeah. It's that one tonight.
- Disaster! You're on an island and a volcano erupts! You're next to a river and it floods! Never mind how geologically, climatologically, or physically likely it would be in this location in real life, it's happening now.
- Haunting past: Your bad memories are just waiting for you to let your guard down, and what's more unguarded than sleep?
- Wildcard: There are infinite nightmares in infinite combinations... why not put together your own?
no subject
If it weren't for his double — now fully grown again — pulling himself out of Vash's arms and reminding him of his presence, he might have let out a delirious laugh. He contains it to a warm smile instead as the other him works on regaining his composure. Vash stays put where he is, kneeling on the floor, even though he wants nothing more than to fling himself onto his bed and bury his face in his pillow like he's a child all over again, feeling giddy with the sheer relief yet utterly drained by the intensity of the emotional whirlwind they've been going through at the same time. It would be rude to his 'guest' and he doesn't think he can quite pick himself up from the floor just yet anyway.
Although he might just be vaguely contemplating listing sideways and becoming a graceless heap on the floor until his other self's question surprises him. Does he not realize where they are because from where he's seated the room looks like any other standard one on the ships or because he doesn't have Home at all? (The latter Vash can't bear to think about, it's too sad.) ]
This is Home. Ship Three.
[ He nods towards the bed behind his double, the wall plastered with photos of his time on this ship as well as traveling with Brad, helping other survivors with their plants, and in the middle his oldest photo of Rem together with him and Nai. It's his room as it looked when he was young, the collection of pictures will be safely tucked away and only the single framed group picture on his table will remain later on. It's the childhood comfort he'd been craving.
There's a pang of something akin to guilt that he didn't think of their original home with Rem back on Ship Five, but he knows this is for the better because... ]
It's the safest place I could think of. Nothing bad should happen here.
[ There's only the moment where Luida and Brad thought he was deceiving them, leading up to the loss of his own arm, but nothing horrible happens within the walls of the ship itself. His idea of safety and belonging in this place remains intact, untainted by trauma, its sanctity in Vash's mind untouched by his brother. Nai has never set foot in this space and so they should be safe from their twin here. It's a space where they can finally (hopefully) catch their breath if it holds. ]
no subject
[ He's never called the ship that, not out loud, but he knows immediately what his double means. The ship that didn't crash, the safest place in the entire world, yes, floating above the dryness and death of the planet below.
His double nods to a wall covers in pictures and, granted permission, Vash gives in to his curiosity. That last memory left him feeling shaky and drained, and he wobbles a bit in getting to his feet. But he lost his arm half a lifetime ago -- that pain is old, dulled with time, just one more nightmare to shove to the back of his mind and try very hard to ignore.
The pictures aren't familiar, but they are. The people, the parts of the ship he can see, even the plants aren't the same, but he still knows them. He recognizes locations, systems... and he's pretty sure that one guy has Brad's hair. ]
This is where I came... after. [ He rubs at his left shoulder, just above the implanted circuitry that allows his prosthetic to function. ] After I got free, they found me in the desert and brought me back here. My version of here.
[ He turns, then, regarding his double with a considering gaze. ]
You're not Legato, are you?
[ Legato might stir up his memories and make him see different versions of his past, but there's no way he would have spared Vash from losing his arm just now. Not after that crack about shooting the glorious Knives. ]
I don't understand what's happening here.
no subject
Vash wants to ask, but the other Vash is turning towards him and saying the same name he said before. He shakes his head in response to the question, answering with an honest admittance. ]
No, I don't even really know who that is. I'm just Vash.
[ Whatever it means to be just 'Vash' when there's two of them. He has no idea what's going on and hearing his doppelganger give voice to that sentiment gets a wry, sheepish laugh out of him. They're very much on the same page here. At last, it feels like. ]
You and me both. I guess we're alike, but... different? I came here right after— well, the crash.
[ He doesn't think he'll have to elaborate that he means Ship Five, that part of their history seems largely the same. It's one more thing that's similar yet so different between them. Vash finally pushes himself up onto his feet so he can take the few steps necessary to close the distance to his bed where he proceeds to take a seat on the edge of it. Definitely having taken notice of the other him's understandable case of the wobbly legs, he pats the empty space next to him as an invitation to sit down comfortably. ]
I don't know what any of this means. I've never dreamed like this before.
no subject
[ He accepts the offer of a seat with a small smile, but still takes a seat as far down the bed away from his double as he reasonably can. It's nothing personal -- it's just caution. At any moment this might turn into another fight, after all, like it did the last time he was home.
If this version of Vash falls apart into puppet pieces -- or, worse, turns on him smiling with his gun drawn -- Vash doesn't want to be sitting hip to hip with him when it happens. ]
Legato works for... for our brother. [ He doesn't have any reason to believe that saying Knives's name will summon him, or change the dream in any way, but again, after that last memory, he's feeling cautious. ] I think that's where I am right now, on his ship, under guard.
[ His attention keeps coming back to the picture in the center of the wall, where an eternally smiling Rem poses with two little kids, and Vash can't help but swallow back his jealousy. What he wouldn't give to have a picture just like that. ]
That's what I thought you were at first. Another one of Legato's illusions. [ He turns back to his double with a feeble attempt at a smile. ] But Legato wouldn't have brought me here.
no subject
The other Vash's explanation goes on to raise as many questions as it answers. (His brother has a ship?) At least he knows who Legato is now and that goes a long way to help him understand the hostility from before and the continued caution now, putting into perspective things said and the cautious distance kept. ]
Sounds like a troublesome person.
[ To say the least. He shudders to think what actually facing someone with such a power would be like. There's... a lot he would like to ask and he has to take a moment to consider where to start and how to go about treading lightly for fear of the dream changing again. To buy himself some time, he throws out a casual: ]
You can take it if you want.
[ Because the lingering look at the photograph didn't go unnoticed and so Vash motions to it. It's a dream and so it might not mean anything and disappear again, but it's the thought that probably counts, right? He hesitates briefly before he presses on, posing his first question. ]
Why is he keeping you there?
no subject
The next statement, however, is harder to address. ]
He's... different than the one you know, I think.
[ Sure, he watched this Vash's Knives trigger the Great Fall, an unforgiveable act, but... Tessla's death was unforgiveable too, wasn't it? And Knives was always so sensitive. Vash doesn't want to excuse his actions as the rash impulse of a child, but really, in so many ways, isn't that exactly what it was? And besides, this Vash is adamant that Knives took his arm to save him. Their relationship is so different than the one he has with his brother, different enough that Vash has no idea how his words will land. ]
He wants this world to be just for us. For us and our sisters. [ And really, Vash thinks wryly, it'd be a planet just for Knives, with Vash and the rest of the plants held hostage to his whims. ] I tracked him down, and confronted him about it, and he...
[ Well. There's no easy way to say it, is there? ]
He's holding me until he decides to kill me.
no subject
He doesn't sound so different at first when it appears they have the selfsame goal — a paradise meant only for them and the plants where humankind has no place — but the more the other Vash goes on, the more uneasy he feels. Tracking him down and confronting Nai is exactly what he's doing at the moment and he has to wonder if he'll end up in the same position.
Except his other self goes on to say something that he can't comprehend his own twin doing and it bleeds out into his expression, making him look as stricken as he feels. ]
Mine wants the same, but... I don't think he would ever kill me.
[ He almost asks his double if he's sure that's truly what his brother intends to do. The only reason he holds his tongue is because of what he was about to witness mere moments ago. From the bits of context given, their twin didn't cut off the other Vash's arm to save him, but to— what? Punish him? Vash doesn't dare ask when the thought alone is enough to make him feel ill.
He doesn't think his Nai could kill him any more than he can kill Nai. They're both desperate to sway the other to their side, to make each other see what they consider to be reason, and so they keep going in circles with no end in sight. He knows Nai will never listen to him and yet there's nothing Vash can do but try to talk to him. Despite everything, he loves his brother and Nai loves him. To think Nai — any version of him — would give up on him and decide to get rid of him instead... it stings more than a little. All he can think to say is: ]
I'm sorry.
no subject
[ It stings a lot, Vash would agree with that. For all that's happened, after everything their brother has done, he still loves Knives dearly. He can't imagine there's anything that would make him stop loving him, and he thinks Knives feels the same way, but he's seen enough of humanity to know that sometimes it's the ones you love who hurt you the most. ]
He only has three options, you know? [ He leans back a little, taking in all the details of the room as he speaks, concentrating on remaining in the here and now. The last thing he wants is for this conversation to drag them both onto the ark. His double's seen enough of his tragedies already -- he doesn't need to see Vash's cage. ] He'll never change my mind, and he knows this. So he'll keep me restrained as long as he can, but... [ Unconsciously, Vash rubs at a scar at the base of his right wrist -- a souvenir of that shackle. ] ...I always get free eventually. [ And that only leaves one option. ] And I won't stop trying to stop him.
[ This room didn't come of out his imagination. It can't have -- look at the detail! Look at the differences! More than that, look at the similarities! That guy in that picture is Brad, he's sure of it, but here he is on the ship years before his Brad was even born! What's the point of this dream, if not...?
The idea hits him like a shot in the back and Vash stiffens, the realization overwhelming. He's turning to the other Vash and speaking before he's even really thought things through, but as he speaks, something about his words sounds right. It sounds true. ]
I keep thinking this is my dream... but what if it's yours? [ Dreamers sometimes know they're dreaming, but do dreams know they're dreams? ] What if I'm here to warn you about him? About what he's capable of?
[ What if I'm not real? ]
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He's pulled from his internal struggle by his other self shifting like something important just occurred to him and Vash is instinctively straightening and turning more towards him in turn, blinking in surprise at the sudden question. What the other Vash says feels like it could be right. Wouldn't it make sense for his subconscious to conjure up something to caution him by manifesting all his fears into awful possible futures-to-be the closer he gets to July?
Still, this feels like going too far. ]
I— He wouldn't...
[ He starts feebly. Vash can't (doesn't want to) consider such a thing happening. He drops his gaze down to his hands where they're resting in his lap and steadily curling into fists, his shoulders hunching as though he's trying to retreat into his coat. Even back when Nai had saved his life by cutting off his arm and Vash had pointed the gun Nai gave him at his twin's head, Nai hadn't been angry with him. He'd just looked so hurt. It's an expression that haunts him.
With Vash now fully facing his other self on the other end of his bed, he has his back to the open doorway leading into the hall, meaning he's oblivious to the dull red light that's starting to seep into the hallway the more he lingers on the memory. His double might be here for the very reasons he's pondering aloud, but Vash sees little point to it because... ]
Would it even change anything?
[ The other Vash can warn him, but it'll do nothing to alter his course. He still has to go to July to retrieve the plants and he'll never be the one to decide to kill Nai. They both know that. ]
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Instead, his gaze turns to the floor, as he wearily rubs at the back of his neck. ]
I don't know. I don't know what could change, I don't know what I could have done differently. [ Given how powerful Knives had become, any fight he might have planned was over before he even walked in. ] Part of it's revenge, but part of it is that, deep down, he's... he's terrified, really, that if the humans are left unchecked they'll do to us what they did to her.
[ He will not say her name. Not here. ]
I don't know how to stop him. I don't know what to say to make him hear.
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It hadn't quite occurred to him before that Nai — the one with the powers — would be so terrified but hearing the other Vash say it makes it click in his head. Seeing what they'd done to her had broken something in his twin and Vash never realized until it was much, much too late. ]
I wish he would just listen.
[ Because he never really does. More than anything he wishes that he could make Nai see what he sees in humanity, that his brother doesn't have to be so afraid, that there is as much good as there is bad and that's the whole point, isn't it? The potential of them and the choices they make in their short lives. Every human deserves a chance and the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and do better. Like Rem. Vash knows they're capable of it, why can't Nai see it? Why won't he trust Vash? ]
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I don't...
[ He's on his feet before he's finished talking, gun drawn and moving between the other Vash -- the younger, so much more fragile looking Vash -- and whatever nightmare is seeping into the room. ]
Something's coming.
[ He holds out his prosthetic hand to his double, if he'll take it, eyes on the door. ]
I've got you.
[ Who knows how long it'll last, but for now, at least, they're not alone anymore. ]
no subject
Sorry, this is my fault.
[ He doesn't think he deserves that kind of protection and comfort, but ultimately, that doesn't stop him. As his childish self he craves it and — being powerless and without a weapon — the logical thing to do is get behind his older self and so he slides off the bed and accepts the offered hand. The cool steel against his skin and the reassuring words are a balm to the growing fear inside of him that comes with this particular nightmare. He's not alone and it's... so new and strange, but it means everything. Even if he can't entirely stop it now, it helps to keep the nightmare just outside of the room; the doorway a clear border between safety and the nightmarish memory that solidifies just beyond it.
There are screams coming from somewhere around the corner followed by the sounds of bodies hitting the floor where he knows Nai is cutting them down ruthlessly. It stops suddenly when no one remains to be slaughtered, there's just a brief moment of silence, and then the sound of slow footsteps approaching. It causes Vash's heart to beat faster against the confines of his rib cage like a trapped hummingbird, frantic and desperate to get out. His grip on the prosthetic hand tightens and his other hand finds its way to the other Vash's sleeve, fingers curling tight into the fabric. Vash's gaze is transfixed on the doorway, his voice a soft, scared whisper when he elaborates. ]
It's Nai.
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That can't be right. His heart cries out that that can't be right. The red light and the nightmare it contains isn't advancing any further into the room, and a quick glance around confirms that nothing in the room has changed. It's still their room. It's still the ship. It's still home.
There's still hope. ]
This already happened.
[ He gives his double's hand a comforting squeeze. The approaching footsteps are loud as gunfire, but in this room is no sound but the gentle hum of electronics, the soft hiss of the ventilation, and their own breathing. This is a safe place, Vash thinks holding on to that idea. How safe he'd felt, when he'd been brought here all those years ago. How kind everyone had been. How much he'd wanted to stay. ]
You can change this. [ He can't be here to only relive the fear and pain of a hundred empty years. He can't. ] You changed it for me, you can change it for yourself. How do you want this to go? [ There has to be something they can say to Knives to make him understand, to get through his fear and anger and somehow find their brother again beneath the monstrous shell he's built around himself. He's ready with his gun, but bullets won't change Knives's mind. Only love can change minds. ] Talk to him. What would you say now to Kni back then?
sorry, have a novel jkahjs
His brother remains in the doorway, expectant, and although it's highly unsettling, the fact he doesn't cross over the drawn line between nightmare and their safe place gives him the chance to get a grip and compose himself. Talk to him, his older self had said. Vash doesn't know what to say. Nothing he ever said before helped to change Nai's mind or even got him to listen... so what if he doesn't try to convince him at all? If he just tells him something he feels Nai should know that has nothing to do with their clashing beliefs?
Finding his resolve, he takes a deep breath and lets go of his other self, moving towards the doorway to stand in front of his brother. He speaks before his twin has an opportunity to shove the gun into his hands, the words just coming to him as he speaks them. ]
I'm sorry I ran and left you on your own. I was scared, but... I know you must have been, too.
[ He sees the way Nai's face scrunches together in that telltale sign he's about to argue. Vash doesn't let him, surging forward to throw his arms around his twin and hold him tight. His heart hurts in his chest — from beating so fast or because of the desperate emotions threatening to choke him, he's not sure — but he presses on, determined. ]
It's okay. I'm here. No matter what, I love you.
[ He can't see his twin's expression, but the way he stiffens in his arms makes his surprise known to Vash. Maybe if he'd just said these things back then, Nai would have been a little bit more inclined to listen to him. He closes his eyes and squeezes, ignoring the cold steel of the gun pressed against his abdomen and the scent of blood in his nose. He wants so badly to just have his brother back, to find a semblance of home together. He feels a hand coming to rest on his back, curling into the fabric of his makeshift cape, and with Nai's motion the entirety of the dreamscape shifts without Vash immediately knowing. The room stays largely the same, the pictures on the wall vanish and the framed photo on the table is replaced by a single red geranium, while the hallway becomes just the hallway of a spaceship again.
There's a gentle tug on his shirt, urging Vash to back off. When he obliges, he and Nai are mirror images again — younger with the same haircuts, same clothes — and his twin is tilting his head at him with a puzzled frown.
"What's gotten into you? Stop being weird and hurry up, you're going to miss your own birthday party."
A surge of joy sweeps through him when Vash realizes what his brother's words mean, what memory they've shifted to. He can't remember the last time he dreamed of a good memory.
"It's yours too!" He calls after his twin as Nai is already continuing to move down the hallway, his words met with a loud noise of exasperation. Swept up in the delight experienced in the memory, he almost goes running after Nai right then and there, but he catches himself, remembering that he's not alone. He turns to the other Vash with a beaming smile. ]
Thank you.
[ In a blink, he's his current self again, his smile tempered into something warm and grateful as he extends his hand in invitation. ]
Would you like to see Rem's favorite memory?
giant tags best tags! i love this so much
Vashs' grip on his gun tightens involuntarily when his double approaches Kni, but almost immediately he shoves it back into its holster. This is Kni – this is Knives. This is their brother, and he's not going to shoot their brother. If anything happens, if this goes wrong he'll put himself between them, use his words, beg and plead and do everything he can to change it... but shooting him? No. Never again. Never again.
Vash holds his breath as his double flings his arms around Kni, murmuring apologies and promises, waiting for the moment when things go wrong... and letting his breath out slow when, to his amazement, Kni looks dumbstruck instead of angry. Dumbstruck... and then so very lost.
It's going to work. This has to be it, he thinks, watching with not a little jealousy. What wouldn't he give to be able to go back and say the same thing to his version of their brother, to throw his arms around him and hold him close and remind him that he's loved? Remind him that he's not alone? Slowly, cautiously, Kni returns the embrace, and to his delight Vash feels the room subtly shift. The photo on the table fades... and Vash feels the tears threatening to return when the photo is replaced with a brilliantly red geranium in a bright little glass globe.
Oh Rem. I have so many things I want to tell you.
When he looks back Kni is gone, running down the corridor and calling out something about a birthday. Their birthday? His double starts to take off after Kni, and Vash wraps his arms around himself, not daring to move or speak in case the dream shifts again. Their birthday! One of the happiest days of their life on the ship! Kni had come down that hallway ready for bloodshed, and now? Now there'll be cake, and singing. They really did it. Things could change.
His double, grown again, holds out a hand with such a kind invitation that Vash can't speak to respond. He nods instead, taking that offered hand, and follows his double out into the hallway. A good memory, at last!
But as soon as he crosses the threshold the dream falls away, and Vash opens his eyes to stars, and darkness, and the too-close grate of his cage. Is it real? Is it another dream? In the corner of his eye he can see Legato in his sarcophagus, watching him blankly through half-lidded eyes. Real, then. Probably real, anyway. Probably real.
If you don't try, nothing will change.
Closing his eyes tight, Vash sifts back through his memories to one afternoon, a hundred and fifty years in the past. The bio-dome, the trees green, the grass soft underfoot. Rem, in that funny mask with the glasses and the mustache, and the popper that sent confetti flying everywhere. The cake, with a single candle. Knives, smiling, at Rem. At him. Knives, laughing. Singing. Scowling at his orange juice.
Knives, happy.
Happy birthday to you~ ]
weh thank you, this thread was such a treat ♡
Vash?
[ It feels a little strange to be calling out his own name, but he doesn't know what else to call out. He tries in vain to see where his double's gone, peering back into the room and down the hall, yet, much to his dismay, he sees no trace of the other Vash. Still, he continues down the hallway to try and locate him right up until the siren sound of Rem's voice draws him in instead. There's simply no resisting that. Following it, he comes across the scene of Rem's favorite memory; sees her standing by the table with the recorder in hand, his younger self bouncing impatiently in his seat while Nai dubiously eyes the spread of food laid out on the table, the both of them donning their silly party hats. The sight brings him such a rush of affection and longing, he's helpless to do anything but stand in the doorway and watch the memory play out with aching fondness.
It's only the sound of something in the hallway that eventually drags his attention away and he's about to call out for his other self again when he suddenly startles awake, finding himself bolting upright in a familiar bed. For a disorientating moment he believes he's still dreaming because he's back Home not unlike in the dream. Except there are no pictures on the wall, there are additional items on his table that weren't there before, and glancing down he sees the spidery cracks running all along his prosthetic arm that bring a flood of memories: boarding the Sandsteamer, stopping the ion cannon with Wolfwood, communicating with the Plant on board and then... he passed out?
The people from Home must have saved him. It'll be so good to see them before he continues his journey.
He has no idea what will be waiting for him when he finally reaches his brother in July, but he'll carry the hope his dream of a happier time and the encouragement his other self gave him (figment of his own imagination or not) with him. Things will change. He just has to believe. ]
it was so good, thank you so much!
no thank YOU ;3;